It started as schoolwork.
Being an online student isn’t easy – it’s actually much harder than my last school was – and seeing as we don’t have “Classrooms” we’re supposed to be in, our teachers give us “labs” as a form of assignment. These “labs” could be anything from studying physics to going on a thirty-minute run.
In my case, it turned out that my Culinary Arts teacher wanted me to make quesadillas. Simple, yes? Indeed. The recipe for a simply, easy quesadilla is as follows;
2 flour tortilla wraps
2 cups shredded cheese
2 tablespoons olive oil.
Use the oil and cook the tortillas until they’re kind of crispy. Then add the cheese and layer on the second tortilla. Melt the cheese. Done! Easy peasy. What could possibly go wrong?
Well, for starters, it would be nice to know how one is supposed to flip a quesadilla when your younger sister hasn’t done her dishes yet and all you have for utensils is a pair of aluminum salad tongs. Aluminum salad tongs aren’t meant for flipping quesadillas, they bend in weird directions and pierce gaping holes in the tortillas. Luckily I happen to be talented in the arts and crafts and was able to repair the holes by filling them with copious amounts of cheese.
After sorting out that mess, I finally figured out that I’d forgotten to add the chili peppers, which were sitting on the counter behind me in a juicy pile. My cooking style is somewhere between the Swedish Chef and Shake-n-bake, so I’m not particularly organized. Also, here’s a chef tip for you; never rub your eyes after cutting chilis.
It also doesn’t help that the stove is possessed. Maria thinks that the stove is a Decepticon, but I kind of doubt that. If the stove were sentient I would have heard it cry for mercy during my cooking. The burners occasionally do this silly thing where the temperature goes from “simmer” to “depths of Mordor” within a minute. Another Chef tip: The flash point of olive oil is 207 degrees Celsius.
After I pried the well-done quesadilla out of the pan with only minimal damage to my mother’s kitchen and my sanity; I had a halfway decent lab project to turn in and an okay dinner.
Next up…. cake!