I accidentally bought a table

Yes, you read the title correctly. I unwittingly bought a table last weekend.


‘How’ you ask? Well, to start our tale I’ll remind you that my family volunteers with the local animal rescue group ‘Camp Companion’ and we occasionally need to run fundraisers so we can continue our work. This month’s fundraiser was going to be a rummage sale and auction, selling off junk people didn’t want or that was donated.

An important thing to note at this point is that ,for whatever, reason nearly every single volunteer was named Kathy. I’m not kidding. We had Katherina (my mom), Kathy O., Kathy C. Katherine D, etc. So for the sake of simplicity I will refer to them as Mom, Kathy #1, Kathy #2, Kathy #3, and so on.

Among the items for sale was a very cute table that I fell in love with instantly, it was the exact make and model as one that I’d wanted to buy several months ago but didn’t have the money for that one at the time. This table was going to be for the auction. It was a silent auction, where you write down your bid on a piece of paper at the front desk.


The table in question, note that horrifying leopard print fabric stabled onto the chairs

After the rummage sale started and four hours had passed, there were bids on the table. Now, the table was probably not the most valuable thing going, but it was really neat. So we hatched a plan where one of us would start the bidding and hope other people are enticed in and start adding bids. I also really wanted that table for my future apartment.

I started the bidding at a hundred and forty-five dollars.

It stayed that way for two days.

Then three.

Then four.

The auction was supposed to end on Saturday, and on that Saturday I found that my bid was still the highest. Obviously, I started getting excited and wondered what  I could do with my wonderful table. (My actual plan is to save it for my apartment and fix it up)

A few hours before the bidding was going to end, though, a rather odd old man came into the warehouse and started looking at the table, and by ‘looking at it’ I mean he flipped the table over rather violently to look at the bottom and legs and banged on the ceramic and metal top of it when he couldn’t figure out how to get the leaves out. This burst of activity ended up putting a large scratch in the wood and bent the leave on the left side down.

My mom saw what he was doing. “Hey, you’re going to break that.”

Old Dude: “No I won’t.” as he adds more scratches to the table

Kathy #3 : “Yes you are, put the table back up.”

Old Dude: ” I don’t have to.”

After a few more minutes of this he scratches his chin and adds to the bidding… $146. He raised my bid by one dollar. At this point everyone was getting a little irked as the Old Dude proceeded to get on top of the table to test it. We were getting worried to say the least, as this guy didn’t seem right in the head at all and continued to be incredibly rude to not only the volunteers, but the other shoppers as well.

The volunteers including the numerous Kathys huddled in the corner for a meeting. There were only two people who really seemed to want this table: The Old Dude and I. That $146 wouldn’t have been enough to get more than one cat it’s round of vaccines and we’d been hoping to get the bidding up to around $500 or so, because the table was not only really old (it was made in the 30’s ) they wanted to be able to vaccinate and ‘fix’ more than one cat at least.

So it came down to my bid. I was out for the day at the time and had no clue what was going on down at the warehouse, so my Mom called me and asked permission to place my bid up to around $200 (which was all I could afford) and we hoped for the best.

The Old Dude continued to be really rude the rest of the day, and continued to try and assault the poor table. In order to protect it from further damage, Kathy #6 (who’s a tiny little Brazilian lady with a massive personality) ended up sitting on the table to keep the dude from trying to flip it over again. He didn’t raise his bid at the desk and the day ended with my Mom and the rest of the Kathys hauling the table back to our place.

So that’s how I came to possess this lovely table. Maybe it wasn’t entirely an accident, but it was a funny series of events. The table itself needs a little bit of work, and I’ve already removed the god-awful leopard print blödsinn from the chairs to reveal that the original vinyl seating is still there. I think that’s pretty cool.


Bonus picture: It has a built in silverware drawer!




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